Maybe one day everything will be okay. But meanwhile I still miss you, the real you that’s hiding behind a wall of fear. I miss the days when you said “I love you” with a smile on your face and with hope in your heart, not with a claw that’s strangling your soul. I miss the moments when we danced the night away, when problems didn’t exist and we were happy for no reason. Three years ago, I thought there would be nothing in this world that would touch me as long as I was with you, and as long as you loved me. Things indeed change. Hearts get broken, people get stupid. Stupid like me. The kind of stupid when you run away from your problems and ruin people’s hearts, because you’re too weak to solve them, because you’re too stupid to remind yourself what you both used to say: “We’ll get through this”. And now, after all this time, I still cry myself to sleep thinking that I will never stop being a stupid sensitive piece of shit. That I will never be able to fix what I messed up. I wish so much that I can go back in time and slap my face countless times, so I can wake up and see what’s in front of me.
But in the mean time, thank you for being here even if I made you hurt like hell. Thank you for not hating me with all your being.
And maybe one day I won’t cry this much and we will be really happy and our wounds would heal, and you will still be here.